Monthly Archives: Feb 2016

Life is like a prism. What you see depends on how you turn the glass.

Jonathan Kellerman
Random Musings

When Weight Loss Became More About My Health Than My Jean Size

Disclaimer 1: I am in no way giving medical advice to anyone. Do not use anything here as advice on how to deal with your health. If you have health concerns, please see a doctor.

Disclaimer 2: Affiliate links are included throughout this post. 

When Weight Loss Became More About My Health Than My Jean SizeI don’t consider myself a stupid person. I like to think I’ve learned from the mistakes of those who have come before me. So when I tell you that I had a medical something occur, I really can’t explain why I didn’t take myself to the doctor immediately. With grandparents who died from cancer found too late and an almost sister-in-law who never went to the doctor and thought feeling bad was “normal,” I should know better than to play around with my health.

But I didn’t. Thank God, it wasn’t anything as serious as cancer.

I Felt Bad Every Single Day

Something was wrong though. I was always tired (more than the I’m-a-Mom-I’m-always-tired kind of way). Some days I could barely open my eyes. I nearly fell asleep driving one too many times. At night, though, I couldn’t fall asleep if you paid me. Or if I did, I never stayed asleep.

At the same time, my headaches – both tension and migraine – were becoming more frequent. My stomach hurt every day, and I was constantly bloated. (Ask any woman, and she can tell you the difference between bloat and fat. This was bloat.)

And then, the worst happened (which probably isn’t the worst, but it spurred me to action), I gained five pounds in 14 days – with no changes to my diet. The scale had been steadily going up for 18 months. Part of it was my own fault with my love of coffee-flavored chocolate drinks. But something wasn’t adding up.

The only way I could lose weight was to go to extremes:

  • Too few calories which only caused more headaches and exhaustion
  • Zero sugar, zero carbs, zero grains, nothing but extremes – which is a first world problem, I know – but I don’t like extremes. I like moderation. This was the opposite of that.

I should be ashamed to admit it was the five pound gain that pushed me to do something. I should be, but I’m not. We’ve all got our triggers, and this was mine. I was 30 pounds away from my all-time heaviest. I knew it wasn’t just poor diet choices causing the problem.

At the same time, I was breaking out like I was 12 again and growing lots of hair in weird places, while losing the hair on my head. I planned to ask my doctor about PCOS – Polycystic Ovary Syndrome – in May at my next visit. I’ve always presented with the classic symptoms (minus the infertility) but never pursued it because I’m done having babies so I don’t really care about not being fertile. I figured I was on birth control, my cycle was now non-existent, so there was nothing to worry about.

I think I was wrong.

Were PCOS and Insulin Resistance the Problem?

On a whim, I decided to look up the symptoms and problems associated with PCOS. I know, I know, rookie mistake. I could have convinced myself I was dying thanks to Doctor Google, but instead, I got very lucky. I found resources that spoke intelligently about PCOS.

That’s where I discovered “insulin resistance.” This isn’t diabetes or pre-diabetes, but you might think of it as pre-pre-diabeties. It’s a common problem with PCOS, and basically, it means your body doesn’t know how to handle sugar in your body, and when it can’t turn it to energy, it turns it to fat.

What the hell?

That lead me on a journey to read more about insulin resistance, in general. Before I decided to self-diagnose myself, I figured I should dive a little deeper.

It’s thought that 25 percent of all adults probably have insulin resistance and don’t even know it. Common symptoms are bloating, weight gain, inability to process certain foods, big crashes after eating sugar, constant fatigue. It can’t always be tested for because you might have okay blood sugar results if you take a fasting glucose test.

I started putting two and two together.

Every OBGYN I’ve ever known since I got pregnant with Aidan has asked if I was diagnosed with PCOS after hearing me talk about my typical cycle.

PCOS and insulin resistance are often (but not always) found together.

Every symptom of insulin resistance was something I experienced on a near daily basis.

When the suggestion to correct the problem was simply to “cut out sugar” and eat whole foods, a massive, gigantic, ultra-bright LED lightbulb went on over my head.

It Was Time to Do Some Reading

The only “diets” that had worked for me since Sean was born (six years ago) had been low/no sugar, all natural diets. Always. I liked the standard way of counting calories and losing weight, but it didn’t work anymore.

I’d considered low/no sugar/carbs/bread thing “extreme” because they forced you to cut out every single convenience on the planet or make them entirely from scratch (I’m looking at you, Paleo), and this Mama don’t have time for all that. Sometimes, I need convenience. And damn, sometimes I need a mocha latte frappy coffee goodness thing.

Yes, need.

So here I am with my light bulb moment, but I needed more. And the internet is a bear when you’re trying to verify that your information is real and not something a random person pulled out of their ass.

It was time to turn to my trusted source since before Google was a baby – the library. Now, I know that anyone can write down anything and get it published. I also know that it’s exceedingly hard to find up-to-date information in a library or even in the printed form. Still, books are something I trust.

I found three books to look through, hoping to find something would strike me “right” – meaning it was right on some ephemeral, inexplicable instinctive level.

The GI Diet by Rick Gallop (2002 edition)

The Sugar Solution from Prevention Magazine (2006 edition)

Master Your Metabolism by Jillian Michaels (2009 edition)

They all kind of said the same thing, but in different ways and at different levels. They were also published several years apart from one another, and you can tell information and thinking changed over the years.

The GI Diet is about the Glycemic Index, how foods affect your blood sugar. Some foods are better for you than others, of course. But a lot of foods I consider whole, healthy, and natural were on Don’t Eat list. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. And, because this was 2002, he kept telling me to drink diet sodas. Nope, not going to work. Too outdated.

The Sugar Solution discussed real world, doable (for me) solutions, and also said very clearly that “treats” and “indulgences” were fine in real moderation. Ya know, not the moderation where you tell yourself it’s been 24 whole hours since you ate cake, so you should be able to have cake again. The kind of moderation where you only have one small piece of cake maybe once a week.

Master Your Metabolism was something I could agree with on an intellectual level – the fake foods, chemicals in everything, and environment are killing us. But I couldn’t change my life or my diet as drastically as Jillian was advocating. I love Jillian, and I believe in her message, “If it doesn’t come from the ground or have a mother, don’t eat it.” But we’re back to that need for convenience. Convenience isn’t evil, but too much of a good thing is almost always bad for you.

The Plan

I’m a moderation girl, through and through. The Sugar Solution was my solution.

Basically, the plan is to eat whole, fresh foods, very little processed foods, and to understand some foods with low glycemic index still aren’t good for you (like potato chips) but foods that have a high GI are okay (yay, I can have potatoes!).

I eat every three hours (6 times a day). Mini meals, y’all. Protein, good carbs, all that. Whatever I’m eating is as whole as I can get it, has no or very little added sugar, and I shoot for 30 to 60 grams of carbs each time I eat. I’m pretty sure I come in much lower most of the time. The idea, according to The Sugar Solution, is to keep my blood sugar at a steady level and eat foods that are low on the glycemic index.

This is very new so I don’t know if I’m going to see any real benefits or not. But in the short time I’ve tried this, I’ve seen a few things.

  • No bloating
  • No headaches
  • More energy – John asked where I’d been hiding, he’d forgotten what a chatty, constantly moving woman I can be.
  • And I lost six pounds the first week.

Is this the cure? I don’t know. I’m cautiously optimistic. I have to be – I battled the same five pounds for six months, then gained a few, and battled those five pounds, then gained a few more. You see the pattern?

If this doesn’t help, if it’s not sustainable, I’ll talk to my doctors later this year at my annual. (Okay, okay, if the headaches, bloating, and exhaustion come back, I’ll go sooner.)

But it feels right.

I eat healthy foods 95% of the time, and I feel better. I feel like myself again.

This isn’t about what size my jeans are.

This isn’t about what I look like.

This is about my health and how I want to spend my life. Me? I’d much rather be healthy and able to participate in my life than eat whatever the hell sounds good at the moment but become a sleepy blob on the couch who never does a damn thing.

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Random Musings

3 Things I’ve Learned Walking My Dog

3 Things I've Learned While Walking My DogThe family Christmas present (yes, it’s nearly the end of February, and I’m still discussing Christmas presents) was to finally after months of begging, pleading, and eyelash-batting to find the perfect-for-us family dog. The boys asked, too, but no one begs, pleads, or bats eyelashes like an only child (even if I am 36).

We started in October but were ignored by the first first two foster/adoption/rescue agencies we contacted. Ignored, y’all. And I don’t mean that I sent an email or application and then psycho-called them two hours later. I mean we waited the entire amount of time they asked for on their own websites, and then sent follow-up emails after that. One place didn’t even have a working phone number listed!

Look, I get that most rescues are 100% volunteer-run but either business for adopting dogs is so good you don’t need to check your email or y’all need to find a better way to keep up with those of us ready, willing, and able to adopt.

Finally, and proving that good things come to those who wait, we stumbled upon a local small dog rescue, Canine Estates (if you live in the Tampa Bay area, I highly recommend them!). They not only got back with us, they were enthusiastic when we said we wanted to come by and visit our first choice – who had no use for us and wouldn’t even sniff our hands.

The Universe works in mysterious ways because we met Saki that day – a 10 year old Miniature-Pinscher/Chiahuahua mix who was so underweight all we wanted to do was feed him – and buy him a new sweater. His was an ugly orange and had a small hole in it. I thought about that sweater for days.

Fast forward two months later, and he’s found his place in our little family – loved and spoiled by all of us. Because I work from home, I spend the most amount of time with him…which means I’ve had plenty to learn.

First there was learning just how similar raising kids really is to having my own furbaby, then there were a few other lessons I’ve learned on our multiple daily walks:

I’m Always Looking Down

I look down a lot. Most of the time it’s for poop, usually his. Small dogs make small poop. Try finding that in the middle of the night. But I’m also looking for old, rotten, ready-to-make-my-shoes-stink poop that other people can’t be bothered to pick up from their own dog. Oh yeah, if you don’t pick up your dog’s poop in public places, I’m totally judging you.

I’m also curious to find out what is so damned special about that one blade of grass, one leaf, one low-hanging branch on the bush, you name it. Because, according to Saki, it’s really, really interesting. We must sniff each one we come across for at least a minute.

He’s a Great Workout Partner

Walking Saki is a good workout. But don’t be mistaken – oh no, not for running (he’s only 12 lbs and about 6 inches off the ground). We tried running for a few days because he was always so happy to go outside and moved really fast. That lasted for three days until we both grew tired of it. He slowed down (a little) after that – such a good boy!

No, now I get an arm workout holding the leash tight. He doesn’t want to run but he still wants to go faster than what I consider a fast walk. Plus, bonus!, I get a HIIT (high-intensity interval training) workout – they’re all the rage, ya know. We  walk several steps, stop, walk a few more, stop, practically run, stop abruptly wrenching my arms out of the sockets – giving my arms even more of a workout. Thanks, Saki! Who’s a good boy??

All. The. People. Want to Say Hi

But none of them really want to talk to me. I’m good with that. Please, socialize with my little dog with the big attitude. He’ll sniff you and move on when he’s ready. Yes, you’ll probably be in mid-sentence, telling him what a sweet boy he is. He’s done, we’re moving on.

If our neighbors don’t give me a glance, I’m good with that. No. Really. I have a three-feet-of-personal-space rule and the only one who can get me to break it is Saki. Plus also, I don’t talk to strangers because my Mama raised me right.

We smile more in our family, laugh more, talk more, hang out now that Saki’s here (and we were pretty well-adjusted before). He’s the absolute perfect edition for our family – big personality, bigger attitude, and all.

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I do not understand how anyone can live without some small place of enchantment to turn to.

Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

Sleep is good, he said, and books are better.

George R.R. Martin

Our memory is a more perfect world than the universe: it gives back life to those who no longer exist.

Guy de Maupassant

The library is inhabited by spirits that come out of the pages at night.

Isabel Allende
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